What Do You Think of my lyrics?
it's sort of a Captain Beefheart type thing. Very odd and surreal. I was trying to make some weird images.
The whale's trombone was white with orange delight
The dog came in and wept for the cat
The only wooden pilgrim ate alone
In the cold, cold, cold rain
15, 14, jail ostrich calls
The Arab Jews were radio
Dialed on the homeless
Bake a pie or a cake
And he let a wheel pull
Styrofoam maniacs play with them
You are A and they are Fs
A large clown's bow is tied
Red and cancel sprinkles
Mellow cello young fellow
Bellow, the yellow pillow ate my hope
One ate seven
Atomic disco on my leg
Heavy, you dig it
And you got me on, you turn me on and off to the slightest
They play at infinite lengths
Oh dear, they will try to call
I most certainly will not!
Hmm...I'm kind of new to this "lyrics randomly being written together" business, but it's not bad at all. Just make sure that some words with strong emphasis aren't put in a place that doesn't make sense. For instance, the one line with "Show". Show is one strong beat, but above you had several weaker beats with "in the cold, cold rain". Maybe instead of "show" it could be "sentence"? That has one strong beat and one weak beat; an even match to the line above it. Also, do not repeat cold three times in that one line. Do it twice, or something.
Other than that, it's puuuurfect.
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